True friendship of various kinds
Is made where collective minds
Run toward loving things
Like mutual respect and the trust it brings.
Four steps can be taken
Exactly where neither person’ s forsaken:
To accept and to value and to belong,
Then emotions of intimacy cannot be wrong.
INTERACTIONS are made and are broken through an interweaving patchwork quilt of respect plus trust, or a lack thereof. As well as the key to achieving a smooth sort of respect and trust could be the achievement of intimacy between two, whether they be a married couple, an employee plus an employer, or between friends.
Relationships cannot get to 1st base without a basic level of trust and respect earned. Without trust and respect conflict is unavoidable and relational damage is bound to occur. With trust and respect, conflict, whilst it will still be inevitable, will be the vehicle for the enhancement of both trust and respect.
TRUST & RESPECT sama dengan INTIMACY
Since we acknowledge what builds plus sustains intimacy, let’ s consider the building blocks of intimacy so far as relational investment is concerned.
THE BASE IMPORTANCE OF ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance and rejection would be the most powerful voices for and towards relationships. Where there is even a tip of a delay in accepting someone, that person may perceive it since rejection; that’ s how powerful a force it is. But where we make a special effort to guarantee the person we are in relationship with feels accepted – completely as they are, as we model God’ ersus grace toward them – they are going to feel accepted. First base has been conducted safely.
THE SECONDARY IMPORTANCE OF VALUING ANOTHER
When people feel accepted their eyes look for evidence that they are also valued. Being valued is all about being recognised in small yet significant ways that are meaningful to the person who feels valued. Evidence of getting valued is a confirmation of accurate acceptance. Second base has been made.
THE TERTIARY IMPORTANCE OF CREATING BELONGING
When people feel accepted and highly valued they feel like they belong. Plus where people feel they belong they earnestly seek to contribute meaningfully to the relationship and to the particular goals of the relationship. Where a individual is accepted and valued, where they feel they belong, there is a rich vein of trust plus respect that ebbs and runs, and a seminary of intimacy grows, and both cohabit in relationship and grow together. Third foundation is taken, and the home run is but steps away.
Approval is first base, and being highly valued is making second. We slip into third when we feel we all belong. And home base is making all three together, which usually manifests as intimacy – where respect is implicit and trust abounds.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.